"I like to read because
it kills me.
I like it dull."
— Mary Ruefle, “Impresario.”
"His mistress had opened his mind to the invisible, had brought an element of seriousness int his life, of delicacy into his heart, but all this escaped his sorrowing family who repeated: “That creature will be the death of him, and meanwhile she’s doing what she can to disgrace him.”"
— Marcel Proust, In Search of Lost Time: Within A Budding Grove.
In the final term of my undergraduate I was terribly in love with two men who did not reciprocate. One was never expected to, a sort of fantasy attraction that I never wanted to have anything come of. With the other I was played with for months after, messages in the middle of the night, encouragement then discouragement within the same conversation. I’ve always been stubborn, so I kept playing, but knew that nothing would happen.
I was walking home along the street where I had spent all of my adolescence and I could smell one of my neighbours doing laundry. It dawned on me then that both of these men used this laundry detergent. I was struck by the familiarity of the scent within the confines of the former’s office, and a conversation about his wife and laundry. I then remembered the few hugs and breathing that scent in, hoping to find the latter’s mixed in.
It was odd to experience this smell out in the open. I had only known it in close confines.
24, female, Canadian
occured in: Toronto, Ontario
age at the time: 21
I wrote about a smell & feelings & laundry (and fixed my typos in this reblog haha)
Submit yr own!
"Legal definitions of insanity still focus on psychosis, the delusions of which are held to diminish responsibility. Medical conceptions include many additional bizarre behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. The legal definition has historically encompassed both questions of agency (he didn’t know what he was doing) and morality (he didn’t know that what he was doing was wrong). The psychiatric profession doesn’t consider mass killers to be necessarily insane, which distresses Peter. For him, the crime defines the illness—as he said, soon after we met, you’d have to be crazy to do such a thing. He found the idea of Adam’s not being insane much more devastating than the thought of his being insane. Peter has searched the psychiatric literature on mass killers, trying to understand what happened to his son. He came across the work of Park Dietz, a psychiatrist who, in 1986, coined the term “pseudocommando.” Dietz says that for pseudocommandos a preoccupation with weapons and war regalia makes up for a sense of impotence and failure. He wrote that we insist that mass killers are insane only to reassure ourselves that normal people are incapable of such evil."
— Andrew Solomon, “The Reckoning: The father of the Sandy Hook killer searches for answers” from The New Yorker
i dont care about friendship between old men. no one does not even them. i care about satanic sacrifices
I have never agreed about anything as much as I agree with this.
"If you are angry, pour everything you have ever eaten into the sea, let the sea foam at the mouth, keep your own lips clean."
— Mary Ruefle, “The Wild Rose Bush.”